The empowerment factor in training for long-distance races
Running for most people seems to be a love or hate relationship. Either you don’t know the difference between ASICS and Brooks, or you obsessively track your mileage, heart rate, VO2 max, and fight with females on Strava who run faster than you to intimidate them out of taking away your slot as the top runner on your favorite running path. You are all in to a terrifying degree, or you are fully, all the way out. There is very little in between. …
A question with a million answers that all feel incomplete
Just over three years ago, I woke up naked on a mattress on the floor of an apartment that I had never been to before. I had no recollection of entering the apartment, no idea where I was, and no clue how severely this moment would alter my life. The life I had built for myself to that point was officially over.
The last thing I remembered was sitting on a stool under the dim lights of a patio bar and taking a sip of a mojito that I had just started. I had consumed two standard glasses of wine, which I drank slowly over at least a couple of hours, but the mojito sip hit me fast and hard like anesthesia. Looking back now, the whole night felt like a pre-planned, villainous hospital-like procedure. One moment, I was there, fully aware, talking about traveling and languages and the things that I typically talk about, being prepped in the bar. And the next second, I was gone, barely regaining some state of semi-consciousness four whole hours later in the creeper’s apartment recovery room. It was pretty clear that I was drugged, and given that I woke up with no clothes on -along with other mounds of evidence- it was also clear that I was raped. …
Why taking a break from our lives can make us feel new
“We travel, initially, to lose ourselves; and we travel, next, to find ourselves.” — Pico Iyer
In February of 2018, I got a parking ticket- a parking ticket for parking in the same place where I had been parking on a wide open residential street for the entire duration of the school year. My parking crime? Parking within 20 feet of a crosswalk. A crosswalk that didn’t exist. …
If it starts with, “Well, at least…” — try something else.
Supporting survivors of sexual assault is critical to their healing and well-being after enduring this traumatic event. Most of us don’t learn how to respond when someone discloses what they have been through, and sometimes things we think to say can be harmful, even if they’re well-intentioned. Here are a few common things to avoid saying and why they can be harmful.
“Are you sure that’s what happened?”
This question implies disbelief. It’s normal to be shocked about hearing that this happened, especially if the perpetrator is someone that you may not have expected, but questioning it is not supportive to the survivor. It also implies that if the survivor does not provide more details or evidence than they have shared, they will not be believed. It’s up to the person who went through it to decide if and when to share details at all. …
Insomnia is the worst. Be a hero this holiday season with these sleep-inducing gifts.
We all know that person, or perhaps we are that person- the one who just can’t f*cking sleep. Unfortunately, I heavily identify with the insomniacs of the world. I could list some statistics about how common it is to have bouts of sleeplessness or some kind of sleep disorder, but truthfully, you’re probably reading this because you or someone you love just wants to fall the f*ck to sleep.
Legal gifts for these people that you can buy *not* on the black market exist. This list is not an ad for any product, and also, consult doctors before use, and all that good stuff. But let’s get to it so that you or someone you care about can just !#%$ sleep for once, dammit. Out of all of my years of sleeplessness, these are the gifts that I have found to be the most helpful, in no particular order, with their typical price range. (Fun tip: ‘more expensive’ definitely has not equated to ‘better’ with these gifts, in my experience.) …
A very brief glimpse into the conferencing process
The criminal system is rightfully under attack when speaking of its handling of sexual assault cases. Less than a single percent of sexual assaults result in a successful conviction. Only five percent of reported cases are even referred to prosecutors, meaning detectives or patrol officers are the gatekeepers of 95% of these cases. …
The bittersweet emotion that reminds us we’re alive
As a teenager and young 20-something, I avidly wrote in journals. I spent long nights alone listening to music and writing out my angst on the thin-lined pages of cerulean blue notebooks. Those pages captured the beautiful moments of deep connections with the people who shaped my life. They captured the devastating loss of those deep connections to petty things, to natural drifting, to things I still regret; they captured first loves and second loves and the cyclical nature of the rise and decline of those relationships that faded into nothingness after meaning everything to me. …
Even Oprah Agrees
“When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” — Maya Angelou
How much heartache could we spare ourselves if we took Maya Angelou’s advice?
It’s always those little comments, or microaggressions, or little red flags, or slights. Sometimes it’s even the one big blow out or the big red flag. We forgive. We give a second chance. We believe words over actions. We fail ourselves.
There’s a fine line between forgiving, offering grace, encouraging learning opportunities, explaining miscommunications, and knowing when it’s time to remove a person, or environment, or system from our lives to spare ourselves from being hurt, scared, disappointed, or unsupported once again. …
Older friends are like regular friends with refreshing life perspective
My best friend Michelle is the kind of person who is friends with literally everybody. She travels the world, frequently moves short and longterm, and I can’t remember a time where she has ever told me that she feels absent of meaningful connections wherever she goes. Apart from being exceptionally charismatic and open-minded of everyone she meets, the friendships she makes often surpass the barrier of age.
Many years ago while visiting her in South Carolina, we went for a walk on a woodsy path in Columbia. An older man stopped to talk with us about the weather and the beauty of the day. Michelle engaged with him immediately, while my Northeastern instincts that did not understand Southern hospitality eyed him suspiciously and planned an escape route, certain that this scenario was headed for an episode of Dateline. After he left without even attempting to murder us, I remember Michelle laughing about my reaction to the simplest of conversations with a stranger, something she was used to and something I was clearly not. …
A favorite side hustle, ranked by personal experience
Going through graduate school, time and money were understandably tight. I was always looking for ways to multitask absolutely everything. Not being the kind of student that overwhelmingly focused all of my time and energy only on school, I enjoyed being able to find ways to keep a balanced and healthy lifestyle while still achieving my educational goals. Instructing group fitness classes allowed me to combine exercise, music, socializing, and a higher-than-average pay rate into a single hour. It was genuinely the best possible side hustle I could have asked for.
Over the course of my time as a certified instructor, I took advantage of learning opportunities whenever possible in order to expand my fitness knowledge and to be able to take on more classes and hours. While I began instructing general fitness courses, I eventually earned more certifications for classes like Cycle and Pilates. By the time I taught my final fitness classes as a cardio kickboxing instructor, I realized how many ways my side hustle had expanded. …
