Speaking out as a survivor is more complicated than it may seem.
Sexual violence thrives in silence. The fact that #MeToo only became a well-known hashtag in 2017 speaks to society’s unwillingness to confront this long-standing epidemic. While a baseline level of awareness may have finally come to the surface, conversations about survivor experiences of rape, knowledge of perpetrators, ways to prevent sexual violence, meaningful consequences, and survivor healing in the mainstream are barely present. Additionally, there are still plenty of people who refuse to believe that rape is, in fact, as painfully common as it is.
Many survivors of…
The empowerment factor in training for long-distance races
Running for most people seems to be a love or hate relationship. Either you don’t know the difference between ASICS and Brooks, or you obsessively track your mileage, heart rate, VO2 max, and fight with females on Strava who run faster than you to intimidate them out of taking away your slot as the top runner on your favorite running path. You are all in to a terrifying degree, or you are fully, all the way out. There is very little in between. …
A question with a million answers that all feel incomplete
Just over three years ago, I woke up naked on a mattress on the floor of an apartment that I had never been to before. I had no recollection of entering the apartment, no idea where I was, and no clue how severely this moment would alter my life. The life I had built for myself to that point was officially over.
The last thing I remembered was sitting on a stool under the dim lights of a patio bar and taking a sip of a mojito that I had just started. I had consumed two standard glasses of wine…
Why taking a break from our lives can make us feel new
“We travel, initially, to lose ourselves; and we travel, next, to find ourselves.” — Pico Iyer
In February of 2018, I got a parking ticket- a parking ticket for parking in the same place where I had been parking on a wide open residential street for the entire duration of the school year. My parking crime? Parking within 20 feet of a crosswalk. A crosswalk that didn’t exist. …
If it starts with, “Well, at least…” — try something else.
Supporting survivors of sexual assault is critical to their healing and well-being after enduring this traumatic event. Most of us don’t learn how to respond when someone discloses what they have been through, and sometimes things we think to say can be harmful, even if they’re well-intentioned. Here are a few common things to avoid saying and why they can be harmful.
“Are you sure that’s what happened?”
This question implies disbelief. It’s normal to be shocked about hearing that this happened, especially if the perpetrator is someone that you may not have expected, but…
Insomnia is the worst. Be a hero this holiday season with these sleep-inducing gifts.
We all know that person, or perhaps we are that person- the one who just can’t f*cking sleep. Unfortunately, I heavily identify with the insomniacs of the world. I could list some statistics about how common it is to have bouts of sleeplessness or some kind of sleep disorder, but truthfully, you’re probably reading this because you or someone you love just wants to fall the f*ck to sleep.
Legal gifts for these people that you can buy *not* on the black market exist. This list…
A very brief glimpse into the conferencing process
The criminal system is rightfully under attack when speaking of its handling of sexual assault cases. Less than a single percent of sexual assaults result in a successful conviction. Only five percent of reported cases are even referred to prosecutors, meaning detectives or patrol officers are the gatekeepers of 95% of these cases. …
The bittersweet emotion that reminds us we’re alive
As a teenager and young 20-something, I avidly wrote in journals. I spent long nights alone listening to music and writing out my angst on the thin-lined pages of cerulean blue notebooks. Those pages captured the beautiful moments of deep connections with the people who shaped my life. They captured the devastating loss of those deep connections to petty things, to natural drifting, to things I still regret; they captured first loves and second loves and the cyclical nature of the rise and decline of those relationships that faded into nothingness after…
Even Oprah Agrees
“When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” — Maya Angelou
How much heartache could we spare ourselves if we took Maya Angelou’s advice?
It’s always those little comments, or microaggressions, or little red flags, or slights. Sometimes it’s even the one big blow out or the big red flag. We forgive. We give a second chance. We believe words over actions. We fail ourselves.
There’s a fine line between forgiving, offering grace, encouraging learning opportunities, explaining miscommunications, and knowing when it’s time to remove a person, or environment, or system from our lives to spare ourselves from being hurt, scared, disappointed, or unsupported once again. …
Older friends are like regular friends with refreshing life perspective
My best friend Michelle is the kind of person who is friends with literally everybody. She travels the world, frequently moves short and longterm, and I can’t remember a time where she has ever told me that she feels absent of meaningful connections wherever she goes. Apart from being exceptionally charismatic and open-minded of everyone she meets, the friendships she makes often surpass the barrier of age.
Many years ago while visiting her in South Carolina, we went for a walk on a woodsy path in Columbia. An older man…
